Breathe

I'm at this point right now, where I think I am doing the right thing, by coming home, but at the same time - it scares me. I know home will always be home, but at the same time, I don't know if home will be home. You know?
When I first got here I was on this big kick about how the people here, and how they would never replace my friends, and now sometimes I find myself saying that there will never be people who will replace the people who I've met here.

Don't get me wrong, I am coming home, thats a definite, these are just some thoughts which I've been working through.

I was talking to my friend today, who has already returned home, and he said something about how weird it is to live outside of the bubble which you're placed in here. Its much like camp I think. You come, get fed the word, and are surrounded by spiritual people and thoughts, and leaving is... well, its interesting. Its much like a mother bird pushing her young birds out of the nest. They can't rely on her anymore, they have to choose to survive and to fly. I have to choose to follow and to live rightly.

I'm going to be honest - I am honestly just tired of living for myself. How do we live life in a way which it is not for ourselves though. Since we were children, thats how we've been taught to live, with all the influence coming from the media, etc. Don't get me wrong, I am not blaming the media, and saying that we as people do not have choice, cause we do. I need to learn how to choose. Since being here, I've got the revelation that we as people need to make choices to move ahead in life, to progress in our faith, and our relationships, now I need to learn how to choose.

Those are just some thoughts.
Let me know what you think.