Breathe

It has been forever since I've posted on here, or so it feels like? Maybe it is just me - going crazy - sometimes sitting infront of a computer can do that to a person.

So it is raining a lot right now, has been for a couple days this week - I am not complaining about it one bit. Its chilly and wet - I like it a lot to be honest. I love this sort of weather. It gives me a reason to wear jeans and sweaters and drink a lot of coffee. This summer has been really really hot so its a nice change.

Its been a good week to be honest. Last weekend I got to hang out with a really good friend all day saturday and talking with her - just our conversation throughout the day made me realize that I need to think about my life - examine it. I need to rethink my life, who I am right now, who I want to be in my heart and mind. Its not an easy thing to do, to examine your life, see all the crap that is in it - I find it much harder to see the good then the bad. The bad just seems to stick out a lot more. Conviction? Its a good thing though, taking a look at my life - you know? I've also been thinking about the friendships I have, the relationships I am in - am I putting my whole heart into the ones which I hold close? Do I care for people enough, or am I just short-changing them? I am trying my hardest - I think I am, and I want to try harder. I am so thankful for the friends that God has provided for me, I prayed for true friends for the longest time and I think I am starting to find the true ones.

This has been a good week - I seemed to get more accomplished and it feels good to get stuff done around here, I can feel the end of summer coming. I think thats a good thing, I always want out of the situations I am in, and once I am out I automatically want back in. Thats sort of how things go for me? I am going to try and enjoy this place - I haven't really done that this summer, but really this may be the last summer I am here. Who really knows.

So I got some information from college last night - it honestly as got me really excited. Its talking about some college and career retreats which I can go to if I get to australia in time (they are before classes start). It talked about housing, orientation and all that fun stuff. Man it just sounds really really awesome, its made me really stoked. I layed in bed last night thinking about it - just really thinking about what it is going to be like to stand in the airport before I leave, what it is going to be like to hold people as I say good bye for at least a year. I will be living those friendships - relationships through a cable, through the internet, through a pen and paper. It is not going to be easy, I also know that God is going to provide friendships once I am there, people who I will learn new things from and will probably change me in some way, shape, or form.

If I thought camp has been stretching - I am in for a shock. I know it is going to be a huge move, physically, spiritually, emotionally. It is going to be good though, I know God's plans for me are good, and not to harm me. I will trust, I am beginning to trust again, to pray again, and I am now able to sing worship songs... it was really hard for a while - I just was not in a place to do that. I am thankful that God has begun to take me from the pit and build me up again.

Praise be to him who is worthy.



Have a lovely weekend friends.
Thanks for reading my thoughts.