Breathe

Orange juice cans, pages, calculators, phones, lights, papers allcover this desk. Its another day at work right today. I should really take these days and make good use of them, instead of just sitting on my computer. Its horrible how much time I can waste just sitting on a computer.

Life is really what you make it, I say that often to people. I think I need to listen to what I say a little more. I feel so unsatisfied with life lately, it is so rutine. The things that I want to change I never do, and the things I want to stay the same always change. Its hard. Life cuold really be all I ever dreamed it of being, I just have to make it that.

I have about two weeks left in this semester. Its been hard, but its worth it. I have high eighties in most of my classes, which i've never had before. Its nice to have your work finally paying off.

I've been struggling lately, with the music I write mainly, I mean there is lots that I struggle with but mainly that right now. I am not often satisfied with the music I write, the past couple sonsg i've wrote I like. I spent a few hours trying to record this new song I wrote, and it didnt come out right at all. I sort of captured the idea, its mainly just working the vocals. They never end up being right, or maybe they are and I am wanting to be something I am not?
Hard to say.

How is one to achive the ideal life for themselves? Obviously that ideal life would be different, but I know that I haev these dreams of things in life I would like to accomplish, and the question is do you let all the small things like that (houses, where I live, so and so forth) count, or should you take what you a\have and thus live life to the fullest? I am struggling with what is right in life and what isn't. Should one want all the time? I would be lying if I said that everyday usually there is something where I say, oh that would be nice to have. Im rarly serious about it, but still I think I need to work on being satisfied with the things God has provided for me, and I am thankful for those things that he has. I do feel blessed. I have parents that love and support me more then I could ever ask. etc. Anyways I could sit here and ramble on about this for hours, but that wouldnt be making any progress would it?

Z.