you came and went so quickly

I am so tired today I can barely carry my own weight. It hurts at times.
And this morning, pulling my aching body from my bed was more than a chore.

I am going to go on a bit of a rant, so if you don't mind, please forget everything I am about to say.

I will not mention no names, places, or anything. I just have a bit of a problem. The church is a place that is suppose to suppoer one another. It doesn't seem to do that lately. Maybe it is just me, sure some poeple support people. But most do not. And if do I rarely see it, maybe I am just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
I had a really hard time last night. I sat with one of my better friends, and another friend also, and sat with him for at least an hour. Watching him suffer the pain that was brought on by others. Watchuing him cry, hearing the words he spoke. We were sitting in an open room, there were people around, but not a single one made a move to come over, lay a hand on him, pray for him, or anything. It sickens me sometimes. I know that I sometimes don't see things like that, but is just makes my stomach turn when I know that people know this guy needs support and no one is making the move. It breaks my heart.
Thats just part of it. I really do not want to stretch this to long but I need to get it out. Last night We had a worship night at my church, I didn't get to clean up at the time everone else did, I was with my friend (previous paragraph). I went out after and most people were gone, the sanctuary was still a mess, chairs were still stacked, mics, cords, everything was still out. I began cleaning up, and slowly they all left, except for my friend (previous paragraph). Eventually the last came and asked if she could leave. Didnt ask if we needed help cleaning up. No one did. It just makes me mad when the church proclaims to be a group of servants and the fact that they show no signs of serving. It hurts.
It makes me mad that people think I am fine and a good worker, and such when I am helpnig them out, but the second when I need to feel included or need support, they are gone. No where to be seen. It is super hard to deal with, somedays....

Ona different note I was sitting and pondering the though last night: it is crazy how GOd can bring people into your life and then take them away, it is just crazy how people come and go. Some people effect you more than others, some will leave you with a life long lesson learnt. Others not, but yea, Ther have been a number of people that have come and gone from the course of my life in the past year, it is just weird if you sit back and think about it.

I wrote this poem in july I believe. We all miss him.

A dear friend

With death Comes life
and a new meaning
for everything old and new

I find myself
grabbing a hold of the memories
That I found myself
Throwing away just yesterday
And im drinking the last drop out of this cup
Only wanting to live life to the fullest
Leaving my old ways in the past
and moving on
But only one step at a time
breatheing in ever breath of this new thought
this thought of love
Love and be loved
For life rides on those words
If all was to fade love would stand
It would provide for all of the childrens needs
Dear friend I just wanted to say that I will not forget you
Or your vision of love
It will never die
Thanks for showing us a great example of love

Note ;Dwayne loved, and was loved
- save some starbucks for me friend.

Thanks for reading friends,
Zachary