One week into camp and I feel like I need to leave this place? Is this summer actually going to be that long!? I feel like I can not breathe right now, I am constricted, I am not enjoying life, I frankly need to be alone, litereally. I feel like God is testing me, with my work, my strength, my mental capacity, my spiritual life, and how I deal with problems, frankly I can not handle it now. I need out, but thats not going to happen. I am leading a skill, doing videos, and in charge of making sure that all the mountain bikes are in good working condition.
I need out, I need to breathe, I need to be somewhere where I can be happy, and enjoy life.
Not here, not now, I don't get this, nor do I really want to. I just wish God would hear me when I ask for help.
Monday, July 09, 2007
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2 comments:
zach, i know how you feel all too well. i hope you start feeling better very soon.
I remember the first year I worked at Redberry I was working in kitchen, and it was probably one of the worst weeks of my life. I was lonely but not too open to meet new people, not happy, dreading waking up every morning. Relying on God to put me through the rest of the week was probably one of my most significant spirtual growth times in my life. He will help you, just give your troubles to him.
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