Breathe

186 days, 37 minutes, 9 seconds - till enrolement at Hillsongs will commence for me.  Its quite odd if you ask me, I mean - it is really really awesome, but in that time I will be half way around the world, in a totally different place then I am now.  It is so good - maybe that is why I am being stretched like I am now?

I prayed that God would stretch me, I said it was good that God was going to stretch me.  He is stretching me right now, I can feel it.  It took someone saying that to me to realize that all of the struggles I have faced this summer have been a process of being stretched.  It still doesn't make anything easier - life has been hard.  It is right now to be honest.  

I struggle because I know God is here, I can feel him.  You know that feeling when you're in a worship set and you can just feel the Holy Spirit moving?  I can feel that, I know God send his son for me - if I know all that, what is in the way.  Its as though I am going through this real dry spell.  I don't know what this is right now.  I find it so hard to pray, and when I pray I can only utter small words - like help, or don't forget me, please bear with me, I can't do this on my own.  I don't know what to do.  I hope God is listening, I know he is.  

I really hope God lifts me out of this time that I am walking through right now.  I am not sure how much longer I can carry on like this, its not like I am depressed or anything like that.  It is just so hard when I have tasted the fruit - and my mouth is dry and cannot comprehend the sweetest of nectar.  I am thirsty - I am hungry.  

On another note, I am taking a week off, well actually - I have a week off. It will be good to just be around home, and take care of some business.  I am excited to rest, and think - play music with friends.  

Much love.