Trying to change, learning to follow

The past weekend has been an interesting one, restful? Partially. A while ago a friend of mine was hanging out with me and said "Zach, there are these podcasts that you have to listen to!" and whenever he says something like that I usually tell him that he is crazy or something similar to that. He took my computer and started to download them through Itunes. Its one of those times where I am just like - man, leave my computer alone and he doesnt. I am sort of use to it by now.

Anyways, weeks later I finally saw these files sitting in my Itunes and decide to take a listen, as I worked and through out this weekend I listen to the words that were spoke by Tony. I guess I didn't mention that - they were Tony Campolo podcasts, of his sermons and lectures and There is this one that I just finished listening to and it really stured my mind, my heart.

"Wouldn't you want to be apart of that church that throws birthday parties for whores at 3:30 am!?" He was talking about the kingdom of God and how it truly is a party. He talks a lot about his experience while travelling around and it is inspiring to me personally. Its like listenening to him go on about how we need to start moving as the church, it is as though we are at a stand still in a sense. I think I have found the heart that I once had, as a child. Oh to be God's servant, how does one become a deciple? How do I learn to truly follow in his footsteps, and drop the dirty things that I've picked up along my walk? How do I leave those things behind? I need to... I need to let God into my life, and start working. It is werid to say that because I know that God has been in my life for most of it. I can't remember a time when God was not in my life really, but Its got to the point where I want to be a deciple of him, of Jesus Christ. How do I quit the things I need to and fill the holes in my life. I must loose the selfishness which I have in me. It hurts, I feel like an idoit when I think about it. I am so selfish and do so many things for my own good. I need to stop focusing on me, and spread the love that God has commanded us to Share.

"You will do things greater then these" When Christ said this he was not saying that he would be doing the miracles that he was doing in that day (although I believe they can be done). There was another podcast which I was listening to and on it Tony was talking about how when Christ said this he was not saying that we would do miracles like this, but that we would spread the love Christ had when doing these miracles. We are to spread that love, to people we don't like, to friends, to people who do not know Christ, to the people who talk down to us, to co workers, to teachers, to everyone. How do we do this. When I get a thought, a spark in my heart - how do I hold onto it and not loose it like so many times before. I must learn how to.

I want to be a deciple of Christ and follow his in his footsteps.
Lord make me a new, get rid of the old and bring in the new.