Silence

what's happening Here?

I was once so alive

and

NOW

I'm so full of dread

And almost dead

Show me your wounded head

That has led

To communion

With the father

but Where

Did he go?

His presence seems

further

and

further

away

each

day

But I'm trying so hard

to steer His way

Yet still lonely

and confused

On this cold hard ground

I lay

Speak to me with wise mouth and say

"Its all good, kid

Its nothing that you did

And though it feels like

Im not here with you RIGHT NOW

Just be still

And listen

for that

Sound..."

(did you hear it?)

Listen again.

Did you hear it?

That silent voice that just spoke nothing?

THAT IS ME!

I'm Listening to your plea

with open ears

counting all of your tears

Flowing from your irritated eyes

Searching the skies

Looking for that

HOPE

That beyond there lies

YOU young worrisome sparrow

FIND rest

Lay your tattered

HEAD upon my

Omnipreset breast

And make IT

your nest

no STRONG

COLD

Wind

Could ever blow

and carry you

from this

your home

Look around

See the Life

Springing up from the ground?

Spring colors springing forth

In celebration

Of your trusting.

its a constant process

this is

growing you into the person

you are to become

And when you sense the setting of the sun

Know that it is only rising and has just begun

Now go forth!

Sing songs

Of faith!

Lift up others in the midst of this race

and if you can't keep the pace

or loose sight of my face

Know that I am always near so you need not ear.

(But dont worry all of them or that right now)

Just sit here

And enjoy the peace I offer

In my silence

when I am silent

I am listening

And not abandoning

I Picked up bradley hathway's book and cd from my school library. I knew he was good, but I didnt know he had an insight that would touch me, my heart. I am not going to lie to you friends, I think I want to cry when i hear some of these poems, songs. It just makes me realize where I am with God, where I am with life, Where I have fallen to. I want to be stretched but its not there, I want to change, I want to grow, but I am just another lazy teenager. its to hard, I shouldnt have to try this hard because life isnt suppose to be like this is it? Or is it? God did gives us the intellectual minds to make decisions so that we could choose him. ifit is that easy then why I am running? Why do I keep falling into cycles that I can not escape. It seems like I dabble in them and then they grab me, tie me up, two times twise, the tape my mouth shut, blind fold me, and put me in that brown patato sack. They pick me up, and drop me in the back of that little green truck that was parked out front and drive, drive somewhere I have never been.

How much longer can I go on like this God? I think... I know that I am tired of fighting these thoughts. I want this to be something real. I mean we all go through phases like this right? it is not just me. I know that. I know there is a God, if I know there is a God then why am I questioning everything so much? Everything seems so trival, fake, but it must be real. There must be hope somewhere. Just where is it? I don't know right now, so God if you are reading this now, please show me, leave a note in my mail box, or drop a road map off. I would like that a lot.

I guess I am lost right now, listening and reading this book has really brought forth the thoughts that I have been trying to push to the back of my mind. I guess I should deal with this sometime. I jsut don't have time right now. Give me time God.

I will finish like this. There must be hope, look for it, fight for it cause if hope is lost then life is nothing, without God life is nothing.

Zachary michael