who have I become

In a world full of images of how we are suppose to be it is hard
to remember to stick to the plan. The plan that God has laid out for us.

Over the past few months I have veried on my perception of who I was and who I wanted to be. Who Do I want to be? Who Do I want people to see me as. Someone who has it all together? tough question if you ask me. Looking back on the past few months its like I have become something I neverever was or was intended to be. Its weird if you ask me. I have tried to become some hardcore macho man. lol is a sense that is what it was. The whole, "I want black hair and all I listen to is metal" Yea Metal is good and all but yea, there is more to life than it. I have almost forgot about who I use to be, I never wanted to be one of those kids who was trying so despereately to be "emo". Everytime someone would tell me that I should stop trying to be emo I would just shrug it off and say that I actually am. Its not just a look or a phase, but I give in. I really don't want to be emo. Its not that I have anything agianst it, it has taught me a lot about life, people, love, and a lot of goods like that. I would have traded that time in for nothing.

Now its like I want to be myself. I don't want to be the stressed out kid you see walking down the hall cause I never use to be that way. I want to be who I was before I grew up. Thats my goal from today on.

I don't want to be immature. I want to love life and everything in it. There is a lot of aspects to life. And I want to enjoy all of them. I want God to be apart of my life so I can exprience him to the fullest. I want to be in love with God, something that is not always easy in a world that is so distracted by many things. May God come into my life cause yea, I want that this year.


+ in other news +
I have decided that I am going to go back and work another summer at redberry, if I can get in. Hopefully. It is official I wish it was summer, I could relaly go for a good ride. Nothing like going for a good longboard ride. I love it so much.
I watched most of the new jack johnson dvd tonight and I must say that it is quite good. Make sure to check it out cause he always writes good music. Anyone want to make a summer trip after grad next year down to california? I think it would be awesome. Just go live for a couple weeks.

Anyways I hope you all have hada good night.

byebye.
zachary